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21 September 2012 @ 01:19 pm
me going on about toki.  
he bought me an electric guitar and amp for my birthday, less than three weeks after we first met. the money didn't mean anything - he wanted to share what he loved with me.
he will make me mac&cheese even though it smells like vomit to him; he will wrinkle his nose and never not make it.
he will hold my hand.
he will spoon me in bed, and I will spoon him, and when of us wriggles too much we just get annoyed and giggle.
he has the most impish grin I've ever seen; it's incredibly easy to tell when he's lying if he thinks it's funny.
he finds it hilarious scaring me by beeping the horn just as I walk in front of the car, or by banging on the window in the middle of the night when I get up to have a snack and he's outside.
we went shopping for baby clothes in the middle of the night before I even conceived. we went shopping for scrapbooking supplies and he was as enthusiastic as I was.
I asked for some carrot sticks, so he cut me two (one peeled, one unpeeled, because he couldn't remember how I liked it), arranged them in a circle on a plate, and cut a little heart-shape from carrot and put it in the middle.
we went to the shelter to adopt a kitten. i saw a little black kitty, and he saw her sister who looked identical to his cat wee-wee. we barely needed a single glance to say "we'll get them both". Friday is my little baby, and Mini-Wee is his, and they adore one another and sleep in a two-kitten pile and purr like little engines.
we argue about how to speak proper english, because he speaks cockney english and I speak normal english, and then when he says "free" instead of "three" i make fun of him and kiss him because i love him so much.
when we argue, we pout and say "fine then" and sit in silence and then make up because it's usually never anything notable.
we have both a full male and female name for our baby, both decided (again) before I even conceived.
the only thing we really see differently is vegetarianism; having said that, he is more than happy to buy free-range, humanely-farmed animals to reduce suffering, and I don't tell him that he can't eat meat (because, duh, he can).
I manage the finances, and he brings home the tofu (haha, see how funny we are? we make up jokes like that. and laugh at them. multiple times.)
he asks me if he can spend money on things - a new amp that he wants, a guitar - and I have to remind him that heis the person who earned that money. "but still," he says "I want to make sure it's okay with you. and I value your opinion". he couldn't care less if I spend a grand - he doesn't mind what I do as long as we have enough money to get by. when the sale of the house with his ex-wife came through, we paid off a huge amount of credit card debt, but agreed that we'd keep a little aside for us. "you have $300, I'll have $500" he said. I told him I didn't need $300, but he insisted. he then took it out in cash from the bank to force me to take it. he then asked (yes, again) if he could go an indulge and buy a new guitar, because it's his love, and I said he *should* indulge in finally being free of his ex who never "let" him buy anything, even though he earned most of their income. to that he said "okay, well then, you should have more money". I tried to explain that he didn't need to share out the money - it was his time to indulge, not mine. he then got frustrated and said "fine, spend as much as you like!". I said "okay, can I spend $700?" and he said yes, and so I paid his car rego with it. ha ha! anyway, that's our financial life. "can I buy a CD?" yes. "can I buy some books?" yes. "can I buy some maternity clothes?" yes. "I'd love to get birth photography, especially as this might be our only child, but it's pretty expensive - what do you think?" he saw about 5 pictures and said "yes, get the best pack" $1,000, done. "I'd love to have a home birth, but all up the midwifery cost is around $5,000 ... do you think we can - " yes, of course! the money doesn't matter - I want you to be comfortable.

seriously. I can't really explain what makes me love him, because these are all external and at least partially superficial things. I love the way he makes me smile all the time, even when he's rambling on. I love being with him, and miss him when he's not around. I love his silly and unfunny jokes, I love the way he loves me and takes care of me, I love his silly little quirks, I love how beautifully we gel. I love that if I start using a phrase, he'll pick it up, and vice versa. I love how whenever I have a crazy idea, he'll almost instantly jump on board without hesitation. I love that he's intelligent, and good at this job (UNIX system administrator) but he's also really great with handyman things around the house. I love how we pretend-argue over things around the house, being petty over silly things, and it all plays out like some big game. 

and then my computer froze and deleted the rest of this, so fuck it. me + toki are happy and will be for a long time

nuncles in <3

UPDATE:

actually, toki sucks because he always puts yums (pizza and donuts) in the fridge, and they taste sooo much better when not refridgerated, and even if you heat them up in the microwave it's not the same and so i hates him for bad donuts. the end.
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soul feels:: sick
 
 
 
kimberlykimberly_tries on September 21st, 2012 05:14 am (UTC)
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. squee. i LOVED this love post. ♥
katy.aletheianink on September 21st, 2012 08:45 am (UTC)
when I'm not busy feeling sorry for myself, I'm busy throwing my sappiness at you guys! but really, sometimes, I just, you know. you know!